Saturday, June 18, 2005

Today has got to be the freakiest day ever.I reached home 2 plus and started cleaning up the house and then took a shower and got ready to meet up with Saha, Aini & Fendy, another guy i asked to help at the gig.*4 Then my Mom called to remind me that my grandma is staying over tonight! So i had to REALLY cleanup my room. That means no more clothes on the floor, make my bed PROPERLY, put aside my magazines/books/bags/make-up/hairsetting rollers/CLOTHES and everything else you can find all over the room. WHAT?? But i'm gonna be late! I called up AIni, told her i was gonna belate and asked her to msg Saha, and i msged Fendy.

By the time i was done, it was already so late. I decided to take a cab. Walked down to the main road, hailed a cab and made my way to Wisma Atria. Here comes the freaky part.

*Halfway through the taxi ride, along the expressway, i started getting all dizzy and everything around me was turning and swirling. My head hurt so bad, my heart was pounding loudly. Inside the cab had been so cold but i was sweating. My palm was sweating too which doesn't happen alot! If i had been walking i would've probably collapsed right in the middle of the street. I couldn't think straight, everything was unclear. I started to panic. The first thing that came to my mind was to take out my iPod and listen to the Al-Quran recitations. My parents were constantly on my mind. I was unconsciously saying my prayers audibly and the cabbie kept turning to look at me. Kept reminding myself, "Mengucap Fiza, mengucap..." Only God knows how i felt. I've never felt so scared in my life. Excruciating pain, been through that. I wasn't even this scared when going for my surgery 6 years ago. But this.....

I called Aini and told her to wait for me at the taxi stand and that i was panicking. By the time i reached there, Aini was already waiting for me. As soon as i got out of the cab, i couldn't stand up straight, what more walk straight. We sat down and i was sweating so much even tho the weather wasn't that hot. Even tho i wasnt as terrified anymore, i knew i needed to go home coz i felt so weak. Immediately, i dialled my Mom's number. --Sorry Mom, i didn't mean to make you so worried.-- My dad had wanted to pick me up, but it was peak hour and it would take him an hour to reach there. He told me to take a cab and he'ld wait for me downstairs. I called Fendy and told him to come up meet us at the taxi stand, then Saha arrived soonafter. After introducing themselves to each other, i told them they had to go ahead without me. Sorry guys!

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Maybe it was just the fact that i was at home with both my parents that made me feel better. Still dizzy and nauseous. The candy Aini gave me earlier helped, though. Then i lied down on the sofa and talked to my parents about what had happened.

My dad said ,"Mesti ada hikmah sebalik semua ni. Fiza selalu keluar tak pernah mabuk macam ni pun, kan?" There's got to be a reason why all this happened. You go out a lot but you've never felt like this before, right?

He went on to say, "Do not question why this happened. Do not be pissed (my term) that you did not get to go this gig. Maybe something would've happened to you if you had went ahead? God knows. What's important is that you made an effort to go there, you've even reached the place...but because of your condition, you came back home. You've been to so many other gigs, anyway."

My mom - "I'm glad you thought of God and your parents. Maybe HE was testing you..."

Maybe they're right. Just the other day my dad surprised me and asked me to read out some short surahs for him to hear. It's not enough to KNOW the surahs, it's also important to perfect your pronunciation. He corrected me here and there, but i passed. Alhamdulillah.

And then this...LA HAWLA WALA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH.

Maybe with all that's happening in my life, new band, new school, new friends, new environment, competitions, challenges,...i have to be reminded to not forget Allah, to not forget my family, to not forget myself.

I hope i'm not freaking anybody out. I'm not an extremely religious person but i do my best.
Anyway, my dad had his weekly religious class, my sis still at work and my mom had Yoga. They didn't want me alone in the house so i followed my Mom to her Yoga class. It's her 2nd class and i think it's doin much good for her health...

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It's okay if i missed today's gig. Tomorrow's gig is gonna be more exciting. Im lookin' forward to see Electrico, The Observatory and Ugly in the Morning. Text'ed Fendy and he seemed to be having fun...

Tomorrow, Shahida, Hairul, Dinky, Nazreen & Aslam will be coming along.. *9

In the end, i'm bringing 8 people to help at the gig. So much for goin alone and making new friends...haha. It's okay. The more the meriah!

later.

the glamourchine laughed at 1:32 AM